Review of Jade of House of Divine, London

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My first visit to HOD II, version 2.0

How is the new venue? Five minutes from St Johns Wood tube. Entrance doorway quite exposed. A lot of stairs. Some bedrooms. A shower. Some pretty ladies wearing not very many clothes. Er…that’s it.

“Bendy. Big Boobs. Loves to suck cock”

I do sometimes feel that ladies on Eharmony and the like should stop banging on about ‘GSOH’ and ‘the smell of freshly mown grass’ and adopt a more prosaic approach to describing their strengths, like the above. Because – let’s face it – these three phrases pretty much sum up the qualities we chaps want to find in a life partner. ☺

Jade is pretty cute, has that whole ‘slim waist big booty’ thing going on, and offers good ‘snog’.

I was in Covent Garden, I thought “I wonder if…?”, and literally 40 minutes later my ‘gentleman’s vegetables’ were being rigorously tended to by the lovely Jade.

The new HOD is in St Johns Wood, a part of London that was totally new to me. Very charming. Full of stuccoed terraced houses – I guess all worth £5 million plus – and Range Rovers. A block of social housing up the road called Swallow House, which raised a smile.

The explanatory text from HOD said ‘watch out for workmen’, and sure enough they are doing up the pavement directly outside. They’ll be gone by the time this review is published, but the situation did rather put the wind up me. The maid was entirely helpful and understanding about this, and ushered me in without a hitch.

Jade is friendly and charming, and managed to engineer a very professional punt. Mine included a very sexy focus on the bedroom mirror - I love shagging while watching myself in the mirror. I can’t say that I felt caught up in a whirlwind of mutual passion and empathy, so I probably won’t return, but 54 other reviewers - all positive - can’t be wrong!