Review of Lea of Annabellas MK, Milton Keynes

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Coordinated black drapes and bedspread in the shadow of which I lost my punting virginity

Una foto vale pi? di mille parole

Captain?s Log [Declassified]
Stardate 2010.8

?This is the Starship Interphallus. Three years into a five year mission to explore the strange world of Galaxy MK-IX, a mysterious and uncharted constellation of brilliant stars......?
?Cap?n, you have explored so many celestial bodies that are no more than a micropixel in your sexagenarian memory board. So, what?s with the self-indulgent docudrama??
?Don?t interrupt, Bones or I?ll see your V14-GR4 ration is reduced to 500mg/day?

?Captain! We are approaching an unregistered transport vessel with an all female crew. Its captain, codename ?The Maid?, and four shipmates are listed by the Federation as ?GFE Agents?.?
?What else, Spock??
?Well, I am concerned their presence is having a strange swelling effect on the members of the male crew, including, illogically, myself. I have ordered a full bio-chemical psycho-analysis but for the moment I am unable to offer an explanation?
?Then there?s only one thing for it. Spock, prepare for intravaginal invasion.?
?I am sorry, Captain, that does not compute. We do not have the requisite physiology for such an irrational operation. As it was only you who avoided the libido suppression program, may I suggest?..?
?Very well I will go alone??
?....would that be to boldly go where no man has gone before, Captain??
?You compute precisely, Dr Spock.?
?Uhura! Scan the target zone and report directly to me?
?Cap?n, I can confirm there is no evidence of extra cartilage growth and all surfaces have been completely depilated. Your personal protection suit is ready and airtight; remember, any difficulties press the button marked KY. This ensures a smooth entry at the docking bay.?
?Good work, Uhura?

I entered the teleportation tube. Nine nanoseconds later I found myself in front of quaint accommodation block. As a precaution I checked the atmosphere for traces of hostile testosterone. All clear. Gingerly I pressed the buzzer??.

?The maid? had suffered an arm trauma: I wondered how she managed to unlock the door and operate a mobile. I wanted to hug her but she corrected me on my pronunciation. ?Lee-yah? not ?Lee?. I must recharge my hearing aid.

I removed my Varifocals and there before me bobbed in soft-focus the pertilicious bottom of the ?oh so delectable? Lea.

Straddling my ancient frame Lea dropped a large blob of lotion on my lower back, it felt like melting ice cream. The lotion warmed as her hands raked my ribcage; and dissipated as she pumped and pressed. We talked through the floor-to-ceiling looking glass and I conjured up the wonderland yet to come.
She slunk next to me like a leopardess on heat swaying her fragrant cheeks. Irresistible. As I lunched on her luscious lily pad I caught myself in the mirror and I suppressed an urge to gurn. When I turned her over to develop the theme she commented ?my god that big cock I can?t wait for it!? Wait you must for first you must prime the pump. Later we conjoined in multiple variations of mish (armchair, deckchair and folded deckchair) before finally collapsing after a rather energetic bulldog.

?exhausted and delirious, ?Checkov, my phaser is empty! Beam me up, Scotty!?