Review of Autumn of Autumn Temptation, Northampton

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Venetian blinds.

Early twenties, tall and slim.

It was Saturday and my mind whirled with impure thoughts.

After my punt I popped into church. I walked into the confessional box and knelt down. "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It's two weeks since my last confession."
"Welcome my son. What are your sins?"
"This morning I fornicated with a lady of questionable virtue. Her name was Tammy."
"What did she look like?"
"She had skin like alabaster and eyes like sapphires. Her hair was dark yet several strands shone like burnished copper. She was a lovely girl with a pleasant disposition. She was flirty and dirty, with tits soft and perky."
"Did she fellate you?"
"Yes. She licked and sucked me without a condom for a long time."
"Mmm, that sounds lovely. Tell me more, my son." I heard the distinct rustling of his cassock.
"She licked my balls and the creases at the top of my thighs. I giggled with unrestrained joy, my Lord. Then she climbed on board for some cowgirl action."
"Did she grind her hips or bounce up and down?"
"She bounced up and down at a tempo that soon had me approaching the gates of Heaven. Thankfully, she slowed her pace, thus extending my period of pleasure."
"Did you have intercourse?"
"Yes, doggie style. Are you familiar with that position, Father?"
"I am. Pray continue your narrative. Spare no details, I beseech thee."
"Well, I could see clearly my veiny love-tool penetrating her moist minge. With every backstroke her lips clung to my cock as if reluctant to let it go, and with every thrust she pushed back to facilitate deep penetration."
"Did she moan?"
"Oh yeah, she complained about unregulated immigration and the high price of petrol. But that was much later on."
"Did you finish in doggie?"
"No. She whipped off the condom and sucked me to within a whisker of ejaculation."
"To linger on the precipice is indeed a divine experience."
"Yeah, I was fizzing with delight."
"I know exactly what you mean, my child. Oh yes."
His breathing sounded laboured and I could hear a flapping sound.
"Are you ok, Father?"
"I'm fine. Did you come in her mouth?"
"No, she wanked me until I squirted over her chin and forearm. Then we showered together. She covered me in gel and rubbed it all over. Then she bent down and sucked the last remnants of wickedness from the Devil's protuberance."
"Mmm, lovely."
"What is my penance, Father?"
"Err, say a couple of Hail Mary's."
I peeked through the screen and saw him squeezing the last few drops of semen into a silver chalice. "Maybe you should say a few Hail Mary's yourself, Father."
He looked at me and smiled, "I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Email me a link to her website, if you please."

As I left the confessional box, I saw Viz Chaos waiting to go in after me. I winked at him, "Have you seen Natasha again?"
He nodded guiltily.